When it comes to individuals who identify as Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging, you are not going to notice significant gender differences. This is a personality type that extends to traits shared by the women and men who identify as such on the Myers-Briggs Type indicator. However, there are some distinct differences, when it comes to the subject of ESFJ women vs. men. This is particularly true in terms of gender roles.
General ESFJ Traits
Although there are some distinct differences in how male and female ESFJs will act, there are quite a few ESFJ traits that are fairly commonly across the gender spectrum.
The ESFJ personality type can also be known as The Caregiver. These are people who live to make other people happy. An ESFJ is someone who is going to be focused on living life in an external fashion. Warm and friendly are just two of the words you would likely use to describe someone who identifies as an ESFJ. They are geared towards giving others the best of themselves, and they will take any commitment to another person very seriously. They tend to be people who are extremely popular with others, and respond to such attention with good humor and additional acts of kindness. It is also worth noting that someone who is an ESFJ in a general sense is someone who is often good with money.
The mind of an ESFJ is going to be the mind of someone who looks towards traditional values. They also believe very keenly in the positive traits of families. Simply put, if you invite someone who is an ESFJ to a family event, you can be sure that they will make the event, barring some sort of significant emergency.
Typically, you can trust both ESFJ women and ESFJ men to be exceptional at handling day-to-day responsibilities. These are practical people, and you can count on them to take care of practical matters.
On the down side of things, both ESFJ men and ESFJ women tend to struggle with the concept of change in a general sense. This can be in the form of moving, meeting new people, or starting a new job. Their desire to please will eventually make up for this, but they are going to have a hard time with most significant changes that occur in their lives. You will also want to note that these personality types tend to have a very difficult time with being criticized, or with being at the forefront of anything that even remotely resembles a conflict.
An ESFJ may also have a tendency towards self-sacrifice, which can coincide unpleasantly with their need for steady, positive affirmations.
These are some of the general traits of ESFJ men and women. If you want to break down the personality type into gender specifics, there are a few things you are going to want to understand.
In a larger sense, you will notice that ESFJ men and women tend to reinforce traditional gender roles. This is something that ties in to the fact that they tend to be people who prefer traditional values and ideals. With ESFJ men, you will see a lot of guys who are going to typically stick to the traditional roles of their gender. This is particularly true, in terms of how they are going to behave in a relationship.
For example, it wouldn’t be uncommon to see an ESFJ man treat their partner to lots of little gifts. They will also lean towards small acts of kindness in the form of back rubs, little notes, and other gestures designed to make their partner know how much they care about them.
Unfortunately, if problems emerge in the relationship, the ESFJ man may internalize a lot of negative feelings about themselves. They might hold themselves responsible for any problems that are occurring in the relationship to an unhealthy degree. They will look for a solution in the form of activities that are designed to bring themselves and their partner closer together.
It is worth noting that there are more known examples of ESFJ women, than there are examples of known ESFJ men. This could be due to the fact that many of the caregiving traits that are found in ESFJ types are personality traits that we tend to associate with men. In fact, even though men and women share many ESFJ personality traits, there will be distinct personality differences with how those traits are actualized.
If you are dating an ESFJ woman, you may find yourself dealing with guilt-based manipulation on their part. However, you can also expect an ESFJ woman to be the kind of person who wears clothes that makes their partner happy, while keeping their living quarters in fantastic condition. They will sometimes wish their partner would do more to make them feel important and necessary.